Saturday, October 31, 2009

Pics from Auntie Em

Bryna's little sis, Emily came to visit Maxine on the last day in the hospital. Auntie Em and her fiancé, David took some great pictures.

Thank Em and David. I'm excited that Maxine (and her daddy and mama) will have someone to visit in Paris but sad because I will miss having you at every Coexist Comedy Show.

Click any of the pictures to enlarge.





Friday, October 30, 2009

Baby's Big Day Out On The Town

Over the river and through the woods, (well not quite woods, but there are a lot of trees around the river) to Grandma's house we go!
Baby had her first non-pediatric related outing today as we had a wonderful visit with my mom, Grandma Kathy. SEND ME PICTURES MOM! :D
Maxine met her Great Uncle Andy, got to see her Great Aunt Peggy again and was fussed over and adored all night. My mom is kind of a baby hog. I don't know why she couldn't just hold her dog, Pumpkin, and let me hold the baby.
It was my kind of visit. Bryna and my mom yacked late into the night and I read comic books (Buddah by Osamu Tezuka. It's GREAT). See how much becoming a father grows you up?

Monday, October 26, 2009

It's real...

It's so strange to see that little tiny baby lying on my wife's chest sleeping and to think that we made her exist. We talked about it, we considered heavily, sought the advice of friends and family and then our actions made this person exist in the world. We put a microscopic cell together with an almost microscopic cell and then we waited and Bryna got big and now Maxine exists. We did that. Wow!

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Yum

My mom is so sweet. She is on her way over with her second batch of food prepared for us so that we don't have to worry about cooking. Thanks mom. That is the nicest gift. :D

The Full Story... part two.

Click for part one.

I woke up to company. Mom's were back after a two hour nap they'd returned.

Bryna was somewhat rested and having contractions regularly. I went and got some breakfast and wondered how much longer this could possibly go on.

I went back to my wife and after an exam the nurse told us pushing time was here. She was at 7. I went and told the moms and then back to Bryna and the pushing began.

She would push at the peak of a contraction for a count of ten then a breath out, big breath in and push for ten, breath in, out, and a third ten second push. Then she'd wait for the next contraction.

She was on her back but able to pull her knees up, which the nurse and I helped with. I would count and the nurse would give advice. Bryna started to get the hang of it and the pushes got productive. She started to stop at 8 on the third count. I started not saying 8 out loud and this seemed to work and got her to 10. I forget where I learned that but I was glad it helped.

She pushed for what seemed like an hour, but may have been two. The head of the baby was starting to show at the height of the push, and then to show even between pushes. The nurse had her speed up the time between pushes.

The amazing thing is, the baby was moving and seemed to be helping push. Fear went away. I felt like we were having a baby and everything felt right. the doctor came in. unfortunately our favorite Dr. Nutter had to leave after a very long shift. We got our third choice Dr. who was a bit pushy but we were ready to stand our ground. Somewhere in there the water was broken. This was before the pushing but I'm not sure just when. The Dr. was supposed to check Bryna and then talk to us about breaking the water. She checked and then just did it. So I was very on guard with this one.

The front of the table was removed, the Dr. sat in the catchers box, the room got crowded, the pushes intense, the baby began to crown, Bryna pushed, baby wiggled, she was really coming out. The Dr. said that there would be tearing or she could do a small snip. Bryna said "Sma.. sni.." I repeated "Small snip." because I now spoke labor and could translate. A small snip, just two stiches, and out came baby!!!!

She went right on to Bryna's chest. The Dr. went to cut the chord and Bryna said not yet please. the Dr. said some bs about it being two short but I don't buy it. There was plenty of chord, I think this Dr. just liked to do things her way. When she said the words, "It's stopped pulsing" we said okay to cutting the chord. In hindsight I don't think it had stopped and since she'd already clamped it it didn't really matter. I cut the chord.

Then I stepped back and went from so connected to my wife and baby to wondering where I fit in the mess of activity. I took a cell phone pic of the baby and then stood back and tried to belong, tried to feel some elation but felt only numbness. I asked Angel, one of the nurses, if he'd go to the family room and tell Anne and Kathy that they were grandmas and could wait outside the door. He did and they did and Sid was with them as well.

I was able to get closer to Bryna and to touch my baby. I wanted to hold her but I wanted Bryna to hold her more. Bryna worked on giving the baby a nipple right away.

The placenta didn't want to let go and Bryna was bleeding. Apparently placenta out equals uterus contracting equals bleeding lessening. I was worried that the pulling on the placenta was causing the bleeding but I never thought to educate myself on this part. I saw one big gush of blood that I had to look away from. I am fond of saying "Keep your blood on the inside." because I really don't like seeing people bleed. I've had terrible dreams of family member bleeding to the point of hearing it. I associate large amounts of blood with death and I have a friend who did die bleeding. Sorry to put this in the middle of this wonderful story but it was a dark moment of going back to fear. I needed my wife, best friend and the mother of my child to be okay. I tried to stay calm, the got the placenta out, pushed on the belly and were satisfied that the bleeding was slowing. Somewhere in there was some yelling for this person and that person to help.

My connection with Bryna was returning, the fear was receding. They got Bryna cleaned up and she had some bonding time with baby. The moms and Sid had now been outside the door for over an hour and were going crazy. One nurse said she didn't want to leave the room because she hated to have to say "Not yet." to the moms again. We let them in and they gushed and oowed and awed. Bryna told me we could name here Maxine, the name I'd wanted all along. The moms, Sid, Bryna and I sang happy birthday to Maxine.

And then I held my baby girl. I have felt some serious love in my time. I'm lucky that way. I've never felt it stronger than I did looking at my beautiful little baby girl.

It was the best day of my life.

**********************************

More hospital adventures soon...

The biggest omission from this story is the nursing staff. After such a long, drawn out birth I lost track of all the names but they were so wonderful to us. Patient and comforting and considerate. I am looking into sending them a baskets of puppies. :D

Saturday, October 24, 2009

The Full Story... part one.

We were reluctant to induce. The doctors started talking about it before we even reached the due date. I wondered if they knew something we didn't know.

Due date came... and went and more talk of inducing. We put it off. We had sex. We ate pineapple. We walked... and walked... and walked. We tried nipple stimulation. We tried a glass of wine.

We did not try a trampoline, a pint of Guinness or Mountain Mike's pizza all of which were recommended as well. I suggested we go see Paranormal Activity which I figure would scare Bryna into labor but we didn't try that.

We finally agreed to inducing as we approached the end of the second week. I think it would've been ridiculous to do it sooner and I'm glad we waited.

It was really scary to agree to as it felt like the first step in the "Cascade of intervention" that we hoped to avoid. The pitocin they use to induce makes for more intense labor which makes for more likelihood of drugs being needed, etc. etc. and we REALLY didn't want this to end in c-section.

Bryna was very shaken up by this. So, Happy Day Spa to the rescue. An hour of foot massage for just $20. I went and shopped at the Asian market while Bryna got her foot rub and I invented a new holiday to celebrate with my daughter, Try Something New Day, when you try new food at all three meals and you do something you've never done before, something big. I wanted to take all the frogs they had and set them free like that scene in ET. How do you cook a big ol' frog anyway?

Bryna felt a million times better after the foot rub and decided to get another one the next day so she could enter the hospital calm and collected. I spent the next day catching up at work and then joining Bryna for last minute errands including laundry. We'd done laundry and shopped for baby's arrival two weeks earlier but now it all had to be done again. Contractions continued and we were optimistic that labor might still come on it's own, but this was not the case.

Bryna's mother Anne joined her for the foot rub. I packed bags and then picked Bryna up and off we went. The pitocin started about 10:30. I wasn't very impressed with our first nurse who I found a bit brusque. She told us that they'd raise the pitocin very slowly but if nothing happened by morning they'd have to get aggressive because she was there to have her baby. Pushy, and not true luckily. The rest of the nurses were gentle and talked and listened and were all around wonderful. Yay nurses. Seriously, we're trying to think of the perfect way to say thank you to these wonderful folks.

My mom Kathy just couldn't contain herself and showed up at 5:30 am to see if anything was happening. I hope I wasn't rude to her. I just remember waking up and saying "What time is it? Why are you here?" before passing back out. I'd gone to sleep sometime in the wee hours of the morning as we waited for the pitocin to do it's stuff.

Bryna's mom showed up soon after and the wait was on. The longer the wait the more the fear built. I tried to comfort my wife who was having contractions for weeks now and who was anxious to have a baby. I think we both really wanted to get it going and to have a sign that things were going to get on track and go well.

Bryna's youngest sister Emily came with books and a plant. Later Bryna's sister Lydia came with Antonio, our nephew. And then, with Antonio, Anne, Mom and Lydia there things started to kick into gear which meant the family was kicked to the waiting room and we started into labor. Her cervix was at 3 or 4 and there was some blood and more intense contractions.

One nice thing is that she wasn't tied down the bed. A wireless baby monitoring device let her move around, sit on her exercise ball, etc. Labor was nice. I know that's strange, but we were excited and really connected. We'd stand together as she went through the contractions and then we'd sit and wait for the next. Stand, sit, stand, sit, feeling so in love and just, together.

Things got more intense. Things got more painful. She tried some different positions. Nurses had to constantly readjust the monitor, two flat pads on her belly held by belts at first and later by a miniskirt looking thing which was WAY better than the belts. When they checked her cervix again hours of labor had produced very little progress. This was disheartening for Bryna. Not for me of course because I'm so unflappable. I did try to encourage her to keep doing what she was doing but it was hard not to let it take the wind out of our sales a bit.

The contractions finally reached the level of pain and Bryna the level of exhaustion that she asked for pain relief. I said "Are you sure?" She said "Yes." It was my job to double check. I said, "You wanted to avoid this if you could and you're doing really great so let me ask you, IF we'd come up with a special code word, would you use it now?" She said she would indeed.

She was given a half dose of Fentanyl. The cascade of intervention loomed. She'd now been at the hospital for over 24 hours and in labor for many. We worked hard to keep connected and Bryna talked about maintaining her happy place. I worked to keep fear at bay. It felt like a very smooth pregnancy just would not agree to go right now. The two weeks late, the two interventions that were not part of plan A and my sweetheart in pain for such a long, long time...

A half hour later she got more Fentanyl. the pain was getting to great. She asked for an epidrual. I checked to see if this was what she really wanted. It was work to keep connected but we were both sweet and gentle with each other. The anesthesiologist was summoned.

He was a really cool English guy with a great bed side manner, a gentle touch and the advanced trait of recognizing Brian Eno's Music for Airports when hears it. (Our labor, relaxation music.)

Bryna got her epidural and a catheter. She got some relief. She got some sleep. I encouraged the mom's (and Sid who had shown up in there somewhere) to go home and we'd call them as soon as something happened. Sid went and grabbed me MUCH needed cough drops. A sinus infection had left me in terrible shape.

I went to sleep scared and exhausted... (Click for Part Two)

Friday, October 23, 2009

Maxine

8 lbs 15 oz. Almost 22 inches long. 36 hours of labor. Our daughter Maxine is here.
We had to adjust the birth plan a-lot as induction, pain relief, more pain relief (epi-dural) were introduced but she was born vaginally and not c-section and Bryna is good, sore and battered and bruised but good.
A healthy mom and a healthy baby. :D
More details soon...