Baby's first Halloween

Yes, that's daddy banana with a baby banana. Thanks to Sid for that one. I'm pretty excited to finally be part of a bunch.

The costume is a bit big on her, but the way she's been feeding I'm guessing that problem will fix itself in no time.

And here is mama with baby in her "I want my mummy" onesie, the first thing we ever bought for the baby.

They're both fresh up from nap and feeding. I was dancing around impatiently during both. Very excited about hot chocolate and It's The Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown.

Know it all

I've often heard parents complain that people without kids think they know it all. Maybe they do know a few things. They knew enough to not have kids accidentally, which is more than most parents can say.

Yes, that is my introduction for my new parent tangent. I don't really think I know everything but there are things that all parents "know" which I won't accept and the biggest of these is that your kid will someday hate you.

I'd been thinking about this a lot and then on Car Talk this morning the brothers advised a mother to be ready for the hatred from her kids as they reach the later years of teenagedom. It has become a part of our culture, this alienation between parents and teens and I think we resign ourselves to it and make it a self fulfilling prophecy.

I will fight it. I will work hard to maintain a close relationship with my daughter even as she goes through her "rough" years. I won't just roll my eyes and say "Teens! What can you do?" We'll have our disagreements I'm sure and her fight for independence will be tough but her mom and I will love her and make sure she knows it, always.

Keep in mind, "Teenager" is a marketing concept anyway. A demographic created in modern times and soon after they went to work on tweens, etc. and so on. We were being asked what our "theme" was for our baby before she was even born. We were expected to choose a corporate brand, Disney Princesses, Winnie The Poo, Elmo. You see babies are supposed to love Disney Princesses and teenagers are supposed to love Hot Topic and hate their parents. Thems the rules.

So, here it is, in writing. Maybe, 14 years or so from now I can come back to this post and comment on what a naive young papa I was. We'll see...

Pics from Auntie Em

Bryna's little sis, Emily came to visit Maxine on the last day in the hospital. Auntie Em and her fiancé, David took some great pictures.

Thank Em and David. I'm excited that Maxine (and her daddy and mama) will have someone to visit in Paris but sad because I will miss having you at every Coexist Comedy Show.

Click any of the pictures to enlarge.

Baby's Big Day Out On The Town

Over the river and through the woods, (well not quite woods, but there are a lot of trees around the river) to Grandma's house we go!

Baby had her first non-pediatric related outing today as we had a wonderful visit with my mom, Grandma Kathy. SEND ME PICTURES MOM! :D

Maxine met her Great Uncle Andy, got to see her Great Aunt Peggy again and was fussed over and adored all night. My mom is kind of a baby hog. I don't know why she couldn't just hold her dog, Pumpkin, and let me hold the baby.
It was my kind of visit. Bryna and my mom yacked late into the night and I read comic books (Buddah by Osamu Tezuka. It's GREAT). See how much becoming a father grows you up?

It's real...

It's so strange to see that little tiny baby lying on my wife's chest sleeping and to think that we made her exist. We talked about it, we considered heavily, sought the advice of friends and family and then our actions made this person exist in the world. We put a microscopic cell together with an almost microscopic cell and then we waited and Bryna got big and now Maxine exists. We did that. Wow!

Yum

My mom is so sweet. She is on her way over with her second batch of food prepared for us so that we don't have to worry about cooking. Thanks mom. That is the nicest gift. :D

The Full Story... part two.

Click for part one.

I woke up to company. Mom's were back after a two hour nap they'd returned.

Bryna was somewhat rested and having contractions regularly. I went and got some breakfast and wondered how much longer this could possibly go on.

I went back to my wife and after an exam the nurse told us pushing time was here. She was at 7. I went and told the moms and then back to Bryna and the pushing began.

She would push at the peak of a contraction for a count of ten then a breath out, big breath in and push for ten, breath in, out, and a third ten second push. Then she'd wait for the next contraction.

She was on her back but able to pull her knees up, which the nurse and I helped with. I would count and the nurse would give advice. Bryna started to get the hang of it and the pushes got productive. She started to stop at 8 on the third count. I started not saying 8 out loud and this seemed to work and got her to 10. I forget where I learned that but I was glad it helped.

She pushed for what seemed like an hour, but may have been two. The head of the baby was starting to show at the height of the push, and then to show even between pushes. The nurse had her speed up the time between pushes.

The amazing thing is, the baby was moving and seemed to be helping push. Fear went away. I felt like we were having a baby and everything felt right. the doctor came in. unfortunately our favorite Dr. Nutter had to leave after a very long shift. We got our third choice Dr. who was a bit pushy but we were ready to stand our ground. Somewhere in there the water was broken. This was before the pushing but I'm not sure just when. The Dr. was supposed to check Bryna and then talk to us about breaking the water. She checked and then just did it. So I was very on guard with this one.

The front of the table was removed, the Dr. sat in the catchers box, the room got crowded, the pushes intense, the baby began to crown, Bryna pushed, baby wiggled, she was really coming out. The Dr. said that there would be tearing or she could do a small snip. Bryna said "Sma.. sni.." I repeated "Small snip." because I now spoke labor and could translate. A small snip, just two stiches, and out came baby!!!!

She went right on to Bryna's chest. The Dr. went to cut the chord and Bryna said not yet please. the Dr. said some bs about it being two short but I don't buy it. There was plenty of chord, I think this Dr. just liked to do things her way. When she said the words, "It's stopped pulsing" we said okay to cutting the chord. In hindsight I don't think it had stopped and since she'd already clamped it it didn't really matter. I cut the chord.

Then I stepped back and went from so connected to my wife and baby to wondering where I fit in the mess of activity. I took a cell phone pic of the baby and then stood back and tried to belong, tried to feel some elation but felt only numbness. I asked Angel, one of the nurses, if he'd go to the family room and tell Anne and Kathy that they were grandmas and could wait outside the door. He did and they did and Sid was with them as well.

I was able to get closer to Bryna and to touch my baby. I wanted to hold her but I wanted Bryna to hold her more. Bryna worked on giving the baby a nipple right away.

The placenta didn't want to let go and Bryna was bleeding. Apparently placenta out equals uterus contracting equals bleeding lessening. I was worried that the pulling on the placenta was causing the bleeding but I never thought to educate myself on this part. I saw one big gush of blood that I had to look away from. I am fond of saying "Keep your blood on the inside." because I really don't like seeing people bleed. I've had terrible dreams of family member bleeding to the point of hearing it. I associate large amounts of blood with death and I have a friend who did die bleeding. Sorry to put this in the middle of this wonderful story but it was a dark moment of going back to fear. I needed my wife, best friend and the mother of my child to be okay. I tried to stay calm, the got the placenta out, pushed on the belly and were satisfied that the bleeding was slowing. Somewhere in there was some yelling for this person and that person to help.

My connection with Bryna was returning, the fear was receding. They got Bryna cleaned up and she had some bonding time with baby. The moms and Sid had now been outside the door for over an hour and were going crazy. One nurse said she didn't want to leave the room because she hated to have to say "Not yet." to the moms again. We let them in and they gushed and oowed and awed. Bryna told me we could name here Maxine, the name I'd wanted all along. The moms, Sid, Bryna and I sang happy birthday to Maxine.

And then I held my baby girl. I have felt some serious love in my time. I'm lucky that way. I've never felt it stronger than I did looking at my beautiful little baby girl.

It was the best day of my life.

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More hospital adventures soon...

The biggest omission from this story is the nursing staff. After such a long, drawn out birth I lost track of all the names but they were so wonderful to us. Patient and comforting and considerate. I am looking into sending them a baskets of puppies. :D