Thursday, January 29, 2009


I have a secret.
Chad said "Don't tell people that you're trying to get pregnant because it will probably take a long time and become stressful." so we didn't. It didn't take long at all, which is really to bad because the trying part is fun.
But, here we are a month after we began making an earnest effort and the test is positive, we are on our way.
Trying to keep in a good place in case the pregnancy doesn't take, which does happen, but can't help getting a bit excited.
Day before yesterday the test gave us a faint line, and the same a few days before that. Then yesterday the digital test said the word "pregnant." Just as Bryna was going to tell me that it would take three minutes, up it popped, that word "pregnant." We went to the doctor yesterday evening and their test confirmed it.
So, we are on our way.
Kind of nervous. The global economic crash, the environment crisis, etc. and the fact that we're 36. The kid will hit 19 when we're 54. That seems a bit up in years. I hope I live a good long time.
Now we have 9 months to get a house. I really want to be in a house. I can't imagine having a baby in our one bedroom apt.
We'll probably wait until week 12 to tell people. I just got a shiver thinking about it.

I didn't know how to feel yesterday, just in shock. Then I went and got a cup of coffee and I stepped outside into a cold downtown and took a sip and the coffee tasted SO GOOD! All my best cups of coffee have been sipped during times when I felt most acutely alive. That is what I feel now, acutely alive. I feel real.