Scared

We're 9 days from the due date!
I don't know what I'm doing. I mean, I'm very excited about meeting my daughter, that is a constant but I'm terrified about the birth and all the things that could go wrong and the life after where I have to stay employed, insured, healthy and smart.
I heard a comedian in SF talk about his last memories before getting married and starting a family; hanging out with friends, playing video games. He wonders what on earth he was thinking, "Hey, I got this down. Shit, I'm going to pile up a huge stack of responsibilities, I can handle it." and then he mimed standing at the base of this precarious pile of kids, and pets, and bills and work, catching things as they fall and throwing them back to the top, juggling life.
That image is in my head constantly.
Isa and Tim just had their third and Tim wrote a detailed account of the birth process. It gave me a panic. Isa is a maternity nurse and Tim is sweet and smart and together they are my heroes in the birthing babies department. They had a rough time with this one including difficulties with the Dr. trying to rush things. Sheesh. They were at the hospital where Isa works! If they have these troubles what hope do I have?

I want to be strong for Bryna and for our baby (who we'd better name soon) and I know I will, somehow. But internet old friend, between us, AAAAAAUUUUUGGGGGHHHHH!!!

Adventures in Baby Making

Don't get excited! The video is my cousins, Isa and Tim's baby. Ours is still "inside"

We're such granola munching hippies! I had no idea. Well, okay, I had some idea but having a baby really drives it home. We're cloth diapering, natural delivery, breast feeding, hippies.
We went to a class on cloth diapering. I was the only guy there. This surprised me. In this day and age do these dads really think they're going to get out of changing diapers?

At any rate, Bryna is at home now, officially on maternity leave. She thinks the baby will be late. I have a strange feeling she will be early. Either way we're weeks from the big event. Eeks. Nerve wracking, exciting, crazy.....

My cousins Tim and Isa just had a baby girl, a HUGE baby girl named Adia. Isa home birthed two other kids but Adia needed some help from the fine folks at the hospital where Isa works as a maternity/delivery nurse. The whole hospital was excited about Adia's birth. My cousin REALLY wanted a girl and even avoided knowing the gender in advance because she didn't want to be feeling disappointment while the baby and her were still so connected. I told here that it was a girl. The baby was late and I knew it was just like a woman to keep you waiting. Thank you very much. Remember to tip your servers!

We are buying as much of our stuff 2nd hand as possible, back to that hippy thing but also a broke thing. We went to one house to pick up some stuff and the father was limping badly. He informed me that this was his THIRD family He has a pair of kids now in their twenties, a pair in their pre-teens and now a baby and a toddler. Sheesh, no wonder he is limpling. All with different moms! I thought this pretty insane.

I remember my brother Erick getting his vasectomy and the doctor saying "You sure you want to do this? Not all marriages last." My brother said, "If I get divorced I'll still have three kids!" I agree.

I will try to get better at sharing pictures and video of the baby process.