Thursday, May 31, 2007

The Secret

Amongst my friends Bryna and I have one of the longer relationships.
Someone asked me what "The Secret" is to a long relationship. This is my answer:

"The secret? Hmmmm? I think part of what's worked for us is being pretty compatible to begin with. Similar religious beliefs, political beliefs, both of us are pretty okay with being poor and most importantly we both wanted a long term relationship and knew that we wanted it..

Other than that just lots of work. If we talk every week we get along good. If we skip a talk there's a much greater chance of not getting along.

Oh, and not talking. That's important too. If we start getting angry, take a break. Come back to it later. We have to be patient with that kind of stuff. Things will often look really different after calming down or even after a day or two. This parts hard for me as I tend to be in a hurry to find resolution but sometimes I just have to be patient and give it some time.

I had a couple of really tough relationships not work out when I was younger, including one girl I lived with and it was really hard to accept that it just wasn't going to work between me and this particular person regardless of what I did, so it's hard for me now to say that I have any secret. I have found things that have worked but mostly I just got really lucky and found Bryna. "

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