I think I saw a chapter of my life that was supposed to happen before I had kids. I knew that I would continue to be creative and to be who I am even after having a child. I saw my brothers and friends go through it and some of my friends got rid of their musical instruments, quit their bands, whatever they thought would distract them from being the grown up they now needed to be. And then a few months later they'd start buying back instruments and being the kind of parent who actually has something to share with their child.
When you announce you're having a kid everyone says, "Oh, you're life is going to be changing." But I discovered, by going so long without kids that your life changes no matter what. And I observed in my brothers and friends that life stays the same in many ways too.
So, I wasn't worried that I would give up my art but I have worried that I would have less of an edge and I was definitely aware that I'd have less time. I planned then not to have a child until I was successful enough as an artist that I was doing it full time and I was content with the thought that I might never have children. I thought I was content anyway. As I got into the later part of my thirties without having achieved that goal I realized that having a kid was something I wanted, really wanted, enough that I would have regrets if I waited much longer.
Yesterday I had a wonderful thought regarding the parent/artist relationship. I remembered that I used to think a steady relationship would be detrimental to my artistic output, effecting my "edge" and the amount of time I have for creativity. The effect has been the opposite. Bryna's support has allowed me to pursue my creative endeavors more than anything else. So, having a child may surprise me as well. Being a parent will take a-lot of my time, I know this, but it may give me inspiration and drive I never imagined. We'll see. :D